29
Oct
Posted by Andrianna Terri in Certainty, Embarrassing, Heartbreak, Love, Relationship, Thoughts. Tagged: Callous, Chad, Difficult, Doomed, Dream, Dream Come True, Excitement, Exhausting, Fairy Tale, Family, Future, Guy, Heartbreak, High Expectations, Ho-Hum life, Home, Insecure, Kitsap, Life, Life Partner, Misfit, Plan, Pretty, Promises, Relationships, School, Secure, Settling, Shock, Strange, Struggling, Taken Away, Worthy. 1 comment
Do I ever get my dream come true? It doesn’t seem like it. I get so close. I find someone who I can spend my life with, easily, those promises are made, I get excited about the future, then BAM. It’s ripped out from underneath me. That has happened 6 times in the past 2 years alone. That’s just too much. It’s so exhausting putting my all into relationships and feeling secure in our future, having a plan, and all of the sudden it’s gone and I’m left, mouth gaping. Why can’t it just happen with me. Why can’t I get my dream come true. Anyone with two brain cells can figure out what my dream come true consists of, but what if I don’t get that? What if the best I get is someone I met at school or someone from back home? Those would be great, I’m sure. But that’s not my dream, that’s not my fairy tale.
Am I asking too much? I’m so insecure, so strange, I don’t fit in anywhere, I’m callous and hard to get along with, I’m not particularly pretty, not in the typical way at least. Sometimes I feel like I don’t even deserve a dream come true. Like I’m doomed to live in kitsap and have a family with some guy I’ve settled for and live a ho-hum life. I don’t want that. I want my dream, my family. I want those promises to come true. Why can’t he see that?
I wish I could start my life over.
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27
Oct
Posted by Andrianna Terri in Driving, Revelations, Thoughts. Tagged: Aware, Carpool, Cars, Commuting, Cruising, Dream Come True, Driving, Fairy Tale, Families, Goodbye, Happy, Highway, In My Head, Inter-personal Relationships, Jobs, Kids, Knowing, Life, Lives, Luck, Paths, People, Personal Drama, Perspective, Presence, Relationships, Retrospect, Rush Hour, Sad, The World We Live In, Work. 2 comments
Or do we kind of have mini interpersonal relationships with the people we drive next to on the highway ?
How weird is it to think that we spend so much time on the road with other cars. Other people doing, most likely, the exact same thing we are. Yet we don’t know those people. They have their own lives. Their own families. Their own relationships. Their own personal drama. We don’t know them. Chances are our paths have not crossed. Yet we are both on this highway. We keep in check with each other. We are constantly aware of their presence.
That’s when I begin to wonder what kinds of lives they lead. What kind of jobs do they have. How are their relationships with their kids? What if they’ve found their fairy tale, their dream come true. Maybe they’re as happy as they can possibly be.
I feel as if I get to know these people, and I am sad to see them go. I usually wish them the best of luck.
I know it’s all in my head but it definitely makes me much more aware of the world we live in.
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Hold Your Own, Know Your Name, & Go Your Own Way 