Think about a food you love. Why do you love it? Can you come up with something besides “it’s really good!” Start thinking about the complexity of the flavors; maybe it’s the combination of those flavors that makes it so appetizing to you. Maybe when you were small, you enjoyed a food that had one of those particular flavors and now you simply enjoy nearly anything that has a similar taste. You get what I’m saying? Before this morning, I have always been the one to say, “I don’t know, it’s just really good!” but now, I’m really contemplating the complexity of the various flavors and everything that goes along with it.
I’m talking about the way I talk and act around various people. I hadn’t really put much thought into it before today. It seems that once I am alone with a person, I talk and act differently than I would with somebody else or in a group setting. I have, more or less, always been told that and I’ve always agreed, to some degree. Now that I really give it some thought, I can say precisely what it is I do and that I’m actually quite proud of myself for doing so. I feel very accomplished for being able to pinpoint a personality trait of mine. It’s always an awing feeling, realizing something about yourself. I quite enjoy it.
So here it goes:
I individualize my personal relationships and the conversations I have with those specific people. I pride myself on being able to recognize how the various people in my life need to be talked to. Believe it or not, I am an incredibly observant person, especially when it comes to the core of things; people’s vibes, moods, and what they need out of a conversation. That doesn’t mean I always accommodate them, I definitely have my selfish moments, but I certainly do try. It’s such a subtle occurrence to me, so much so that before today, I’d never given it much thought. I find that very interesting.
The way I handle myself in social situations often baffles people. I realize that I may seem completely different in a group dynamic versus a family dynamic versus an individual conversation. I don’t know how to phrase it other than I accommodate others in a conversation. Do not mistake me: that doesn’t mean I make myself into anything I’m not in order to pacify the people around me. I just recognize the most appropriate and productive ways various people or situations require when it comes to conversation and tweak my approach to suit those needs.
I think the biggest difference people notice is the way I come off in a group setting versus an individual conversation. I am, generally, a quiet person. I enjoy listening to people talk, especially if I’m interested in what they’re saying or respect them in general. If I have something to say, I’ll say it. I am often talked over but nine times out of ten, it’s no big deal. I already know what it is I think about the subject or what it is I want to say, so I tend to be much more interested in what others think about it, whatever ‘it’ is. People assume I am a docile person but I am not. I can be shy when a new situation or person presents itself but that’s about it. I have no qualms about putting my two cents in or standing up for myself, if need be. I think that’s what shocks people who don’t know me very well the most, when I am assertive. I find that humorous, I can often see the shock in their face. I suppose I am full of contradictions.
Individually, I am much more forward. I do have opinions and I do make them known. I have actual conversations. I guess you could say I am more lively in one-on-one conversations. I cherish my personal relationships and the one-on-one conversations that occur. That is where I feel I truly flourish. The way I explained it earlier was like this, I try to be understanding of the way people need to be personally addressed because it’s different with everyone. I feel I can assess what a person needs, individually, and do my best to use that approach with them. To someone who doesn’t know me well, I’m sure that would look like I put on a different personality for each person I meet, but I would like to think the people who know me well realize that is not true at all. I think my outlook and approach simply reflect my own desire to be understood and to truly be heard. They say treat others the way you want to be treated and that does resonate with me, in this context, especially.
I am very much my own person and enjoy the fact that I understand people. I get almost a gut feeling but instead of feeling compelled to have a certain thought, it’s more like I voice what it is I am thinking and am certain it is true. At least most of the time. and pretty much only when it comes to the way people are, etc. To put it simply, people want to share their thoughts, have those thought be acknowledged, and be accepted for having shared those thoughts. That’s what I try to do. That’s why I believe it most beneficial to be honest with my relationships. Why would I be dishonest with something or someone I am personally invested in? That’s what a relationship is to me, someone I am personally invested in and care enough to make those accommodations for.
Alright, I think you get it. :)
